The Flat Earth

The first proper conspiracy theory that we deal with is the Flat Earth conspiracy. This conspiracy alleges that the shape of the Earth is really flat, rather than an oblate spheroid that literally everyone is taught. The first point I need to make is that, this is not merely an alternative explanation of the world. This isn't "People's History of the United States" style geography (physics? geology? I'm not even sure what to call it) an entire conspiracy is necessary that convinces everyone put a few intrepid investigators into "knowing" that the earth is, in fact, a globe.

Why would anyone believe that the Earth is flat? There are a couple of answers to this.

The first is religious literalism. The Judeo-Christian book repeatedly talk about the Earth having four corners. In the Old Testament the Earth is described as being underneath a dome, much like a modern stadium (there's a lot to list but for evidence sake: Psalm 19:1, Isaiah 45:12, Daniel 4:10-11). The "dome" is the firmament created in Genesis. The New Testament, presents us with the story of the temptation of Jesus (Matthew 4:8) in which, from a high point Satan shows Jesus all of the kingdoms of the Earth, a feat which is only possible if the Earth was flat given the kingdoms in the Americas and Asia. The Islamic world, despite an advanced science in the middle ages, also describes the world as being flat, it being rolled out like a carpet (Surah 15:19, 18:47, 20:53 to give three examples). Now, apologists for each of these three religions, will claim that they are metaphorical. However, I'm not interested in a religious debate, and I'm only speaking about religious literalists here. Non-literal believers are free to interpret these claims in whatever manner their religion permits, but the books literally describe the Earth in a way that can only be rectified with a flat Earth.

The second is observation, from a purely local perspective: it looks flat.

But it's not flat, we know that it's round. In fact we've known this for a very long time. Aristotle relates to us three proofs of the shape of the Earth in his book "On the Heavens." Giving us an example of compression that would necessitate a round planet (297a8-11), the shape of the shadow on the moon during lunar eclipses (297b24,25), and the change in the stars overhead as one moves from North to the South (297b34-298a1). The ancient world had other proofs as well, notably the observation that a ship going over the horizon disappears from the bottom up.

Then we have pictures, the fact that you can travel in one direction and end up back where you started, that people have been to space, and some complex mathematical models that show how gravity would necessarily pull matter into a spherical shape.

None of this matters to Flat Earthers though, because it's all mistaken or a flat out fraud. The modern instantiation of this idea, has a web presence at tfes.org, They allege, in contradiction to the esteemed Aristotle, that the shape of the shadow on the moon is not the Earth but another object. They further point out that a disc shaped world would also cast a circular shape on the moon as well. The seasons, which we explain as a tilting of the Earth toward the sun in Summer and away for Winter, they explain by means of an orbiting Sun above the disc of the world. Think of a flashlight shining on a table, this explanation has the double purpose of also explaining how day and night work, which makes the Sun simultaneously traveling too slow for the days and fast for the seasons. Gravity works by a constant acceleration of the Earth through space (and all of the planets and stars) at the acceleration velocity giving us the impression of a gravitational pull of 9.8m/s/s.

The flashlight hypothesis is just silly, we would be able to see the beam of light in the distance as it approached during dawn and receded during dusk. It would be a large beam of concentrated sunlight that would not approach from below the horizon but move as a wall. The acceleration is more problematic, given that it would necessitate a breaking of the speed of light. The TFES, has an explanation for how it is impossible for the Earth to exceed the speed of light, which is true, but they are wanting for how the constant acceleration will never approach that speed. They merely regurgitate Einstein's explanation from his book "Relativity" showing the formula for the Lorentz transformation but then never explain how that applies to the Earth. The point here is two-fold, first that the Earth obeys certain scientific theories but not others. They are claiming the Earth has no gravity (which mysteriously isn't necessary for their theory) but that the moon does since they admit the tides are caused by them. Secondly, they are just jargoning the reader. Through enough advanced physics equations and it looks good, but anyone with even a surface knowledge of the equations (that's me) will know it doesn't prove what they think it proves.

That's just the pseudo science behind it. The conspiracy then becomes necessary to explain why we have all been lied to regarding the shape of the Earth. Apparently, it's a plot by NASA primarily to continue gaining their funding, while guaranteeing the US military supremacy over space. There have never been space voyages, satellites, and anything else. This would mean that every space agency in the world: from China, India, and the Soviet Union, as well as every other country that's put a satellite in orbit (or claimed to) is lying for the same purpose. We should also note that this includes a collusion between the USSR and the US at a time when the threat of Nuclear war using ICBMs was a very real threat, decided to work together on this one thing.

What's the most glaring about their theory is the one piece of evidence that would shut everyone up is missing: a picture of the end of the Earth. According to their page, the Earth has a diameter of 24,900 miles, this would equate to a circumference of 78, 225 miles. Given any point on Earth, if an individual traveled "South" (because it would more accurately be called "outward") they should reach the end of the Earth and be able to, like Tyrion Lannister, urinate off the edge of the world. However, this explained with the assertion that the ice wall extends to such a point, away from the beam of the sun, that the temperature becomes absolute zero. This would be colder than the average temperature of space, and too cold, they say for humans or machines to traverse.

Also it's guarded apparently. If the edge is impossible to get to, the wall would be. Yet no pictures, that aren't laughably those of people on whale tours or pictures of glaciers. This is explained by secret NASA guards who arrest/execute anyone approaching the wall. Who funds them? NASA and other government agencies. Who are they? Classified agents.

I have more questions: how do they get hired? Do they retire? Does the job come with dental? Can you bring your family? etc. It's always good to have a backup profession in mind.

This is introduced as a conspiracy that no one would take seriously, however, ever since a B-list rapper got into a twitter fight with Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson, and then a slew of NBA players decided to publicly agree to it (LeBron and Shaquille O'Neal) it's been getting more traction. There's even "Research Flat Earth" billboards on our highways. Which is the worst advice they could give as anyone who does the research will quickly determine that his theory is absurd, fallacious, and most importantly wrong.

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