A Ufeful Impreffion: Proofs of A Conspiracy...pp. 2-6

Ground rules for a thing like this if you are new: Page numbers are going to coincide with the PDF's page number and not the page number for the book itself. This will just make things easier. Also the PDF is located at: https://www.conspiracyarchive.com/PROOFS_OF_A_CONSPIRACY_John_Robison.pdf if you're playing along at home. As always, I refrain from reading too far ahead, I only do so to get enough material for the following week's post. So let's get started:

First off, we have a dedication and right away I forgot what it's like reading 18th century English. It'f the f in place of the s. This makes it fun, seriously, as it is a reminder that while we are reading English we are going to be reading a different style of English. The dedication is to a William Wyndham. I was expecting more from Wyndham. Studying the subject of conspiracy theories has created within me certain expectations. I was thinking that this Wyndham would be some kind of occultist or alechmist. No, it turns out that he was the Secretary of War for a bit, member of Parliament, and owner of Dinton House (now Phillip House). So it seems that when Robison writes, "It was with great fatifaction that I learned from a Friend that you coincided with me in the opinion, that the information in this performance would make a ufeful impreffion on the minds of my Countrymen." He just means that some other wealth aristocrat also agreed with him. 

This is kind of a let down. So skipping ahead...

The dedication closes with a long quote from Lucretius, and now it's personal. I won't bore you readers with a long recounting of my philosophical path, but On the Nature Things (De Rerum Natura) by Lucretius is one of my favorite books. Despite some incorrect conclusions, I find the Epicurean school to be a good exercise in accepting only those things which can be proven. The Epicureans were good skeptics, and the use of the work here describes the consequence of letting the mindless rabble overthrow kings and rule themselves, for example the passage closes with, "Thus things Down to the vilest lees of brawling mobs/Succumbed, whilst each man sought unto himself/Dominion and Supremacy." 

This line doesn't mean what Robison thinks it means and I am now painfully aware that quote mining is just a thing that conspiracy theorists do, no matter what period of time they were born in. The long section that Robison quotes is supposed to impress upon Wyndham that the common people cannot be trusted and the old order is the only thing preserving society. However, This section comes at the end of the long section 5 which has committed to explaining the origin of all things (it's just atoms and void), a strange but prescient proto evolution doctrine, and a general admonishment about material pursuits. The Epicureans believed that the highest pleasure was ataraxia, or calmness of the mind. Not in a Zen/Buddhist way, but that a life free of worry was best. Epicurus believed that the good life was good company, in a comfortable place, while being free from worry (the accusations of Hedonism come from the detractors notably Stoic and Christian Apologists). What Lucretius is saying here is not that kings should rule, but rather that ambition leads to death, murder, and the kind of bloody anarchy that is the problem. The message is quite the opposite of what Robison wants. 

The dedication page aside, we begin the book proper (dedications aren't really part of the book). The introduction is going to be Robison laying out the reasons that he wrote this book in the first place instead of working with Watt on the Steam Engine I suppose. Robison relates that he saw a German magazine "Religious Occurences" that detailed some of the schisms within the Fraternity of the Free Masons. This interested him because in his younger days he, "had taken some part in the occupations (shall I call them) of Free Masonry."

I gather from this that he was never a member, but had a friend that was. It reads like he attended some functions but never joined. Whoever his friend was brought him along as his +1 to rib night. Robison was a member of the Royal Society of Edinburgh and had academic clashes with Anton Lavoisier. It would be difficult to figure out who his friend was if only because the list of suspects would be too broad. 

There's a lot of myth that surrounds the rites of the Masons and most of it is based on the idea that outsiders can't just walk in. However, from the Masons that I've met in my life who have informed me of the shocking detail that they just go there and hang out. Sometimes there are more formal functions and other times they do charity work or march in a parade, but mostly it's just a club they attend. Masonry liked to dress it up in the long past, and perhaps American Masonry is less rite-laden than its contemporary European counterparts. Robison's experience seems to agree with the impression that I was given, "There (on the Continent), I had seen a Mason Lodge considered merely a pretext for passing an hour or two in a fort of decent conviviality, not altogether void of some rational occupation."

Translation: Some guys I know went there to get away from their wives for a bit. 

Here Robison recounts the differences between the Lodges in the UK and the ones on the Continent. Robison's experience is the rituals and doctrines were considered much more serious in the Continental lodges than they were in the UK. 

At this point I have to admit that I was wrong. Robison now discusses his experience in the lodges as an Initiate. A few paragraphs ago I thought that Robison merely attended as a guest, but now he claims that he was in the membership. Robison then remarks how quickly he discovered that this wasn't for him. I'm reminded of a quote by Marx (Groucho not Karl) that he would never join any club that would have him as a member. Robison's view is kind of similar but he's got the kind of cynicism that I possess. His problem is that the rituals and rites are just hollow. It's all bread and circuses, "But all the splendour and elegance that I saw could not conceal a frivolity in every part."

I get it. I watch my daughter in fencing class go through this small, quick ritual before a match, and I just roll my eyes. Sumo wrestlers throw salt down upon the mat to ward off demons, it's all so silly to me. Robison would be right next to me nodding along. Yes, they talk about the great architect but it's just fluff designed to create awe before someone taps the keg. 

Robison claims that he was an initiate in a Scottish lodge, but when he went to France they called him a "Scotch Master." This is a rank that does not exist in English Masonry but that rank allowed him certain access to important individuals. The concept of access is going to be very important when describing the conspiratorial allegations surrounding Masonry, so we have to keep it in mind. For now, Robison is content with using this access as the reason he stayed with it for as long as he did. Robison, despite the encouragement of his brother Masons, abandoned the European organization. It seems that they took it too seriously and he couldn't get behind such a thing that would take up so much time, money, and enthusiasm when there was no rational support for it. 

I'll close this week with Robison's story about how he came across a box with the secrets of Parisian Masonry in St. Petersburg. One of his brothers sent him this box at midnight telling him to keep it secret. The brother "found it convenient to leave the (Russian) Empire in a hurry, but taking with him the funds of an establishment of which her Imperial Majesty had made him the manager." 

The box contained these secrets, but Robison was done with Masonry. Yet he kept the box, the secrets, and now feels that he can share them. I don't care about this at all. I care about his friend that apparently stole money from Catherine the Great and had to get out of Russia. Some historian could probably figure out who this person was, but I find this story much more fascinating than: I used to be into Masonry and I still have some of my papers from it. 

Next week: we will get to the conspiracy...hopefully.